Saying Goodbye


This page is for those of you who have said goodbye, or are facing this time.   I hope we the parents, friends and family can help each other out by giving tips on saying goodbye.   Maybe by sharing our stories we will realize we are not alone, as no parent is supposed to outlive their children.



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Goodbye Zachary Colin Clayton

I look back at the time of my son's death - at present there isn't anything I would want to change.

I initially had planned for Zac to die in the comfort of his own home, unfortunately this was not possible.   His poor little body had deteriorated to the point he was losing all muscle control and was having quite a nausea problem.   I needed 24 hour support, so the hospital was the place for us to be.   I think in the end it worked for the best, I could sit cuddling with my son while staff helped clean the bed linen after accidents, help with his pain control issues as they arose, and the invaluable emotional support I received from nurses, doctors, PSA's just to name a few!

Zac passed away peacefully in my arms, he just stopped breathing.   Even though he was no longer breathing I could still see the beat of his heart through his tiny chest.   His strong heart just did not want to stop, continuing to beat for a time, I told Zac I loved him and promised again that I would be OK.....   his heart took it's last beat.

I got up out of his bed, opened the curtain and sliding door to outside and went back to my son and held him in one last embrace whilst I released the tears.

A nurse came in, she paged the doctor to pronounce the death.

My son was gone.

I bathed him, while his bed was made up and I placed Zac back into bed with clean clothes and his favorite toy, Mickey.

I called my parents, they came down to say their goodbyes.

Actually, there is one thing I would change:
I would have given Zac permission to leave sooner.   Zac just seemed to keep on fighting, I was asked if there was any unfinished business I could think of that Zac may have.   It was suggested that he was worried about me, and that I should tell him it was OK to go.....   I did this, and Zac passed away that evening.
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